Surrendered Dream
A little more than a year and a half ago, I attended a church retreat. For too long, I had been working too many hours and having no time for anything else in my life. I was new to my church and really didn't know anyone, so it gave me great alone time with God. One morning at sunrise, I sat outdoors reading the Bible, not really sure where to start except one scripture where I asked God to look at the depths of my heart and show me anything He found displeasing. He revealed to me that I had an unfulfilled desire that had caused bitterness to build up towards Him. Wow! I was not aware. I prayed asking His forgiveness and to help me to deal with it.
The next morning, as the retreat was coming to a close, we were given little pieces of colored paper and a nail with the instructions that if God had shown us anything that weekend that we needed to surrender, we could nail it to the Cross. I cried as I realized I had to let go of my dream, and that even though I did not understand, I could trust that God's plans were better for me. One by one, we nailed our 'surrender' to the cross. I felt a peace as I let go. And as I looked at the Cross, I realized that all of our surrendered dreams at the Cross were actually quite beautiful--kind of a pretty mosaic. And then I realized that while the enemy could not have our souls he was doing everything he could do to defeat us. My unfulfilled dream has caused me pain and resentment towards God; I had struggled to hold onto Hope.
I realized that day that there is so very much beauty in the Cross. The enemy tried the same strategy with Jesus. He meant for the cross to be a place of defeat, scorn, and shame for Christ. But our Lord defeated death and the enemy. This Christmas season, I am celebrating the birth of Jesus. He came to be the penalty for our sins, to free us from the pain of unfulfilled desires, to fill us with His hope, love, and joy. Because of the gift and power of the Holy Spirit, we can defeat the enemy too! What a beautiful Gift we have in Jesus!
The irony of all of this is that after I let go of my dream almost two years ago, and accepted God's will for me...He has begun to fulfill my dream. In a way more beautiful that I could have ever imagined! I think He delights in providing wonderful gifts for us, if we just trust Him.
Merry Christmas!
posted by A Life Inspired at
Friday, December 22, 2006
7 Comments:
I found your blog through an inspired search. I like your christian experience stories. The are positive at the core.
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It sounds like God is really moving in your life. At my old Church we had something simular where you nail something to the cross that you needed to turn over to God and it was a touching experience.
Thanks Tom, I really appreciate it! There is a lot of inspiration in walking close to Jesus daily!
Hi Moggy, thanks. Yes, I think God is always moving in our lives, it's just that sometimes we have such a white-knuckled grip/heels dug in holding onto something that He won't force us past it. I think He waits until we turn to Him in faith and then He blesses us beyond measure!
I have gone through something very similar recently. It wasn't until I realized that my "thing" was better off in His hands than my own that He began to really work on it. It's quite liberating to leave something in His hands and let Him take care of it for you.
I understand your bitterness completely. I am still struggling with the fact that in order to answer His call and be obedient to what he had in store for me, I had to give up the one thing that was most precious to me. And all the dreams that I had up to that point. Of course, at the time it was happening, I had no idea. I only came to the realization of what the whole Plan had been all along many years later -- with the benefit of hindsight. Isn't it amazing how clear these things can be when you are able to look back at the steps you have taken? I admire your ability to let it go. I haven't been able to do that. Frankly, I don't know that I ever will.
Hi Janie, I understand! It is so very hard to let go. I struggled for a long time of just surrendering my dream. I'd surrender and then the pain would bury me. I'd cry out to God and ask for help. For me, I finally realized letting go wasn't something I did and forgot about. For me, it would be a process of 'renewing my mind in Christ' each time the pain would seek to rob me of my joy. The turning point of this process came when God showed me the bitterness in my heart towards Him. I also think a lot about Job; and how he lost everything in his life, but his life. How much physical, mental, and emotional pain that must have caused him. But then, God provided for him beyond what he'd lost. I'm not sure that we all will know rewards like that in this lifetime, but I do believe that the choices we make here have eternal significance for the rewards we'll know in Heaven. Janie, thanks for sharing your heart!
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